Friday, March 4, 2011

Dracula's Blood cuts the mustard?

This is not about the science

If I were to write a nice little smiley note to all believers in Plate Tectonics in a bid for hearts and minds, .. you know, to win friends and influence people,  this is what I would say:-  "There is light at the end of the tunnel of your philosophical dissatisfaction.  There is a simpler paradigm.  Your trials, ..your tribulations, are over.  Your calls for "more research needed", are now thankfully redundant.  Ocam's razor, sharp as it ever was, is telling you all conundrums besetting Plate Tectonics are explained in a single cut.  The mustard has been sliced and you are saved the bother.  The jigsaw is done. There *is* no more research needed. You can all go home."

"So far so good?"
"Nah, mate, ..failed the first hurdle."
"What?  what's the first hurdle?"
"The heart - you just drove a big wooden stake right through it."
"How? Isn't it good to have a problem solved? 
"Did you come down in the last shower of rain or what?"
"Coz there's a whole lot of people whose whole existence is all about solving problems, doing jigsaws, and they just love doing them in the dark.  Don't you know?  It's their job to keep telling everybody just how dark the place is.  Shine a light on them with a solution and it's worse than cock-crow to Dracula."
"You mean they're not interested in solutions?"
" 'Course not. You tell them the jigsaw's done an', .. well, .. what are they going to do for an encore?"
"Well, couldn't they do something with Earth expansion instead? .. in the daylight so to speak?"
"You mean after telling everybody how fascinating the dark is when doing jigsaws?"


(I guess that's it, isn't it - people expressing their (=>) philosophical dissatisfaction with daylight are hardly likely to change hats at the drop of one and advertise it just because somebody switches a light on, ..are they? )

"Does that mean I'm wasting my time, .. trying to wheedle Plate Tectonicists into seeing they're trolling around a dead Dracula?"
" 'Fraid so."
"Is that why they're not speaking to me?"
" 'Fraid so."
"Jeez, ..if that was me, ..I'd ditch it like a shot."
"Yeah, ..but not everybody's an empirical rationalist enchanted with daylight. There's a lot of currency in dead Draculas, provided you can keep them dark and the blood warm. There's a whole industry peddling them."
"EeeEEyukK.  What's the going rate?"
"A sinecure, ..a lifetime's career, mate."
"Wot?  ..Sucking blood in the dark?
"Yeah, the dark.."

(Plate Tectonicists - pushing shit uphill maybe a better way of putting it, .. or rather, up a mountain.  Condemned forever to have the shit (and the mountain) roll back down on them.  The ancient Greeks tell a good story about that, but didn't quite have that additional bit about the mountain falling down.  Guess they didn't know then about the Earth expanding and the propensity for mountains to do exactly that or they would have added it to the plot, ..given the uphill strugglers being such a mendacious mob deserving of burial.)

"Gee, that's no way to win friends and influence people."
"Telling them they're a mob of mendacious bloodsuckers."
"So what do you suggest I do call them,"
"Well, be nice. Tell them their labours are appreciated."
"But they're not."
"Tell them anyway."
"They'd see right through me."
"No they wouldn't.  They'd just love people to tell them what a great job they're doing."
"Sucking blood?"
"*Withdrawing* blood. It's to prevent illness and disease and promote the healthy balance of humors."
"*I* don't think it's very funny."
"They've been doing it for at least two thousand years."
"Yeah?  Don't people die?"
"Well, .. that's exactly the point:- Really spectacular prevention wouldn't you say?"
"Sure, .. I'll say.  Ok, I suppose we can build around that, ..about death being a spectacular prevention of illness and disease."
"Good.  You're getting the picture."
"What about lobotomy, can we throw that in as well?"
" <  &%&^#$$@ 

("..The facts, ..not cutting it.")

Plate Tectonics bleeds Joseph Blogs

( How to win friends and influence people)

[ See also Expanding Earth blog at  ]